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Rejected Children's Books
Meet Becky. She’s not your average goat. She’s not chewing grass or climbing rocks or whatever else goats are supposed to be doing. Becky’s out here changing lives, one deeply uncomfortable cartoon panel at a time. Born with a throat that defies logic (and physics, and dignity), Becky quickly discovers her true purpose: swallowing the world’s problems whole sausages, carrots, pride, shame, you name it.
This utterly ridiculous, adult-themed picture book looks like it wandered out of a kindergarten story circle, but don't be fooled. This is not for kids. This is for grown-ass adults who enjoy cartoon animals behaving badly and poetic verse that makes you question your life choices.
Written in the style of a children’s book... but absolutely, 100% not safe for anyone.
Becky the Throat Goat delivers a crass, rhyme-filled journey through the lore of a goat who just can’t stop… well… throating. Yes, that’s the joke.
And yet somehow, you’re still reading this description. Which probably means you know *exactly* who this book is for.
Gift It (and Regret Nothing):
Perfect for your friend who thinks “too far” is a challenge
A must-have gag gift for bachelor/bachelorette parties
Ideal for your coworker with the best cubicle prank game
Great for white elephant parties, because Becky always steals the show
Buy it for yourself, you absolute menace
Don’t expect moral lessons. Don’t expect depth (well, not emotionally). Expect rhymes. Expect goats. Expect at least one scientifically questionable diagram. And above all, expect to laugh like an idiot and then wonder if you're going straight to hell.
Let’s be real:
You’re not buying this book because it’s a literary masterpiece. You’re buying it because the idea of a cartoon goat deep-throating produce made you snort-laugh at your desk. You’re buying it because laughter is cheaper than therapy, and significantly easier to wrap.
Becky the Throat Goat: She swallows. You giggle. And that’s the whole damn point.
Because a night with the Throat Goat leaves them in a daze… and you questioning every purchase you’ve ever made on Amazon.
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